Over the years, I have worked in many different roles. Engineering, strategy, project management, leadership. And no matter the setting, I have seen the same pattern repeat itself. People form a snapshot of who you are at one moment in time and that becomes the version they carry forward, even as you grow far beyond it.
Sometimes the snapshot comes from the very first impression. Sometimes it comes from the last memorable moment, especially if it was stressful or complicated. Either way, it becomes the frame through which they continue to see you. Not the person you have become, but the person they remember.
I have seen this as a student worker who later became a staff member, as a developer who later became a strategist, and again in leadership roles where my growth outpaced the version of me that people chose to keep. And I know I am not alone in that. Many people reading this have been boxed into an old snapshot long after they earned the right to be seen differently.
There is a sadness in that pattern, not because any of us need validation, but because when someone refuses to update the picture, they miss the possibility of who you are now. They also miss what that might unlock in themselves. When we cannot imagine someone else’s growth, we usually struggle to imagine our own.
“Leadership requires updating the snapshot. It means noticing who someone is becoming, not who they were the last time you made a judgment about them.”
And this is where leadership comes in. Leaders talk about development, empowerment, and growth, but growth cannot happen if we keep people trapped inside the earliest or most dramatic version of themselves. Leadership requires updating the snapshot. It requires noticing who someone is becoming, not who they were the last time you made a judgment about them. It requires letting go of old narratives so new ones can form.
In my own journey, that has meant doing the inner work to see myself clearly again instead of accepting the outdated versions that others projected onto me. It has meant recognizing my own growth across disciplines and seasons and trusting that I do not have to be defined by who I was in someone else’s memory.
And it has meant remembering that I owe others the same grace. If someone came back into my life with genuine growth and intention, I would see it. I would acknowledge it. Because that is what I would hope others would do for me and it is what good leadership looks like.
If leaders want their teams to grow, they have to update their snapshots often.
If individuals want to grow, they have to stop accepting someone else’s outdated picture.
And if we want healthier workplaces, we have to remember that people do change when they are given the space and vision to do it.
Growth is possible, but only if we are willing to see it.